After reading this article at Live Science, I’m starting to think that scientists are perverts with too much time on their hands:

Female monkeys may shout during sex to help their male partners climax, research now reveals.

To investigate the purpose behind these calls, scientists at the German Primate Center in Göttingen focused on Barbary macaques for two years in a nature reserve in Gibraltar.

The researchers found that females yelled during 86 percent of all sexual encounters. When females shouted, males ejaculated 59 percent of the time. However, when females did not holler, males ejaculated less than 2 percent of the time.

To see if yelling resulted from how vigorous the sex was, the scientists counted the number of pelvic thrusts males gave and timed when they happened. They found when shouting occurred, thrusting increased. In other words, hollering led to more vigorous sex.

What a horrible, horrible job! The counting of pelvic thrusts is bad enough, but then they need to verify ejaculation. How much does that job pay? Ugh.

Counting monkey pelvic thrusts is admittedly “quite weird, but it’s science,” researcher Dana Pfefferle, a behavioral scientist and primatologist at the German Primate Center, told LiveScience. “You get used to it.”

Yeah, you get used to it. After years of therapy and enough meds to kill a small horse.

Male and female Barbary macaques are promiscuous, often having sex with many partners. This means sperm levels can get quite drained. The females shout when they are most fertile, so males can make the most use of their sperm.

Man, talk about performance anxiety. How would you like to be nagged at while having sex? I think the males just want it to be over so they won’t get yelled at anymore.