Finally the word is slowly getting out that maybe these punkeys (punk-monkeys) need to be dealt with. As this article at the Telegraph explains, to be a good chimp, you need to have good role models:

Historically, scientists believed that differences in behavior between communities of chimpanzees were due to variations in genetics.

More recently, there has been debate about whether they copy each other or instead figure out how to do something desirable themselves.

Now scientists have discovered that variations in behavior in the cultures, such as Masonic-style handshakes, are down to having a chimpanzee role model.

Holy flying monkey poo! Masonic-style handshakes? Freemasons are in cahoots with monkeys!! I only wanted to highlight how a big brother, little monkey program would be helpful to quell the “primate agenda” and I trip over a secret society with global conspiracy ties! Maybe I’m looking too deep at this. Let’s continue:

The discovery was made in a series of experiments that compared their performance with that of Scottish children in research that once again underlines the continuity between human characteristics and those of our closest relatives.

Scottish children? From Wikipedia: There is some evidence to suggest that there were Masonic Lodges in existence in Scotland as early as the late sixteenth century.

Coincidence? Doubtful. The picture is getting clearer and clearer. Back to the article:

Prof Andrew Whiten at the University of St Andrews has pioneered studies that have shown how chimps have the capacity to invent and pass on customs, such as a “rain dance” that marks the start of heavy rains among some colonies, or even how they deal with parasites groomed from a fellow chimp: mash on the forearm, squash on a leaf or simply eat the parasites.

That’s not really learned. I mean, what else can you do with a parasite you’ve plucked from a loved one’s lice riddled back? Mash, squash or eat. That’s lack of choices not learned behavior.

They show that apes, like children, can learn from results of actions alone if the task is sufficiently simple. Using what they called a “ghost condition” where the primates only saw the end results of an action, sliding a door to obtain a reward, the apes could pick up how to do it. “This is the first direct evidenced for emulation learning in a non human primate,” they conclude.

However unlike children, over time the chimpanzees only picked up a new trick if it was repeated by a fellow chimpanzee. This suggests that it is not enough for a chimpanzee to see the result of a complex new behavior, such as a dead insect on a leaf – they need to see a fellow ape squashing the bug on the leaf too.

So punkeys are influenced by others, which is why we need to rehabilitate these primates to behave properly.

Dr Lycett, says: “This explains why some communities, for example, use similar methods for finding food, adopting certain behavior and adapting different methods to suit their own environment. In this sense we can see for the first time that culture exists in our closest relatives.”

We need to get on this ASAP before the Freemasons recruit them for their own devious purposes to destroy our way of life. Something horrific like National Treasure 3!