Another incident of Punkeys attacking innocent housewives. From the Times of India:

LUCKNOW(Occupied Territory): In a freak incident, monkey menace on Gomati barrage surfaced with a totally new dimension on Wednesday morning giving a housewife a very close shave with death.

Freak incident? Even when exposing the monkey menace, these poor saps at the Times refuse to admit this is becoming more frequent each passing day.

Incidents of monkey gangs striking at the roadside stalls near the Gomati barrage to feast on the fruits are no longer a rare occurrence. (So is it a freak incident or no longer rare?) But the monkey menace emerged with a unexpected shade around 7 am on Wednesday when a woman – later identified as middle-aged Rashmi, a resident of Gokhale Marg – reached the barrage to perform puja before the rising Sun. The woman had barely started with the rituals when a group of monkeys began closing in on her. Familiar with the atmosphere, the woman paid no heed to the four legged unwanted companion.

But things took a turn for the worse when one of the monkeys began to approach her. In order to scare away the monkey, the woman raised her hand. The monkey retaliated by charging at her. The panic struck lady, standing right besides the steel railing of the barrage, was so badly shaken that she lost her balance, toppled over the steel railing and fell into the river.

Luckily, there were a few boatmen fishing in the river who saw the mishap and jumped into the freezing waters to save the woman, who was by then crying for help. Finally, two boatmen managed to rescue the woman safely to the banks of the river.

She was then rushed to Lohia Hospital where the doctors attended her. A visibly shaken and badly shivering Rashmi spend at least an hour at the hospital before she was discharged.

I’m not sure what this highlights more: The monkey menace is so bad that women are being attacked and forced over rails into the river or the American healthcare system is worse than India’s, because we all know if this had happened in the US, she would have had to wait more than an hour just to fill out paperwork!