More disturbing facts about the Punkeys. Not only are they criminals, out to destroy humanity, but they’re righteous pervs too!

From New Scientist:

There’s something kinky going on in the world of Barbary macaques. Researchers have found the males eavesdrop on their mates having sex in order to make sure they don’t miss out on the fun – and to give their sperm a chance to compete in the great fertilization race.

Female Barbary macaques (Macaca sylvanus) cry out during sex. When they are fertile, the call stimulates ejaculation in the male. When the females are infertile, they slightly modify the structure of the call, making the male less likely to ejaculate. Fertile females sometimes make non-ejaculatory calls as well.

Dana Pfefferle of the German Primate Center in Göttingen and her colleagues recorded ejaculatory and non-ejaculatory calls produced by both fertile and infertile females in “La Forêt des Singes”, a primate visiting centre in France where Barbary macaques roam freely.

We’ve already touched upon how bad this job was before. Perhaps “touched” is a bad word to use in this instance. Sorry!

They then hid a speaker in the park foliage, not far from a resting male, and played the recorded cries.

Males showed strong responses to ejaculatory calls. They turned around and looked in the direction from which the call came for roughly twice as long, and in some cases rose and approached the microphone.

Pfefferle made sure the recorded female was never around during the playback experiments, so the other males could not find her. Upon hearing the ejaculatory calls, males did however approach other females and checked their genitals for the swelling that indicates they are fertile.

Let’s be honest…who hasn’t checked for swollen genitals before? Isn’t this standard practice in dance clubs now?

Hearing an ejaculatory call is a signal to other males that “sperm competition” for fertilization has commenced. Keen to get in on the race, other males will approach the female.

“There’s a conflict between male and female reproductive success,” says Pfefferle. “Females should try to be choosy and get only the best male genetic material.” Males on the other hand may be best off trying to fertilize as many females as possible.

Of course what would a good sex tale be without video.

WARNING: The following video is not appropriate for young monkeys or immature humans who embarrass easily