Here’s an interesting story from Orlando (Occupied Territory) that baffles me, especially some of the quotes. People sure do think different in Florida. From Local 6 WKMG in Orlando:

A monkey in a diaper escaped from an Orlando home Friday and chased at least one man down a street and jumped on a woman before being captured.

Motorists reported the diapered monkey loose Friday near the Studio apartments in a neighborhood in the block of 550 Conway Road.

Rommel Gray said he tried to help a crowd capture the monkey but was instead chased down a street.

“I wanted to take him for a pet but after he kind of growled at me and chased me down the street, that is just not the monkey I want to deal with,” Gray said.

Apparently in Orlando, monkeys are so common on the streets that seeing one, even in diapers, doesn’t even stir up a thought that it might belong to someone. Just pluck them off the street and BAM! New pet.

Residents were able to use bananas and fruit to lure the animal near a cage.

“He came to me and jumped on my back,” resident Sharon Beverly said. “So, I tied him to a cage and then animal control put the loop around his neck and contained him.”

The owner of the monkey was out of town on a business trip when the monkey escaped through a window.

Local 6 reported that owner did not have a license to keep the monkey in his home.

The monkey is in the care of by Fish and Wildlife officials.

We’re almost positive that the diaper it’s wearing is just a poop bandolier. A way to carry their fecal grab-bag grenades if you will. He may have even been a scout sent to test our response time. And apparently our stupidity.