August 2008


We’re already sliding down the evolutionary scale when a gorilla gets better than dental care than we do. Add in the irony that is dental care in England and it’s down right depressing! From The Telegraph:

This 28 st primate had to be sedated for two hours by specialist vet dentists during a successful operation to remove a painful three inch root.

Pertinax, a silverback Western gorilla, was said to be “understandably groggy” after the operation at Paignton Zoo in Devon.

He was treated by Dr Peter Kertesz, one of only a few specialist zoo dentists in the world, who has worked on exotic species including whales, pandas and elephants.

He said: “Animals or people, it’s all the same – they need treatment, they get treatment. The scale is what varies – and the location. It is all about teamwork.

“It is a very serious business. The health and sometimes the life of a rare creature is in your hands.”

Neil Bemment, curator of mammals at the zoo, added: “Pertinax had a broken canine. Peter had to remove the root, which was a good three inches long.”

Pertinax is the 25-year-old leader of the zoo’s bachelor group of gorillas and was treated at the attraction.

Dr Kertesz has a dental practice in London and his first experience of animal dentistry was when he looked at a cat for a vet in 1978.

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Somehow, Punkeys have managed to generate a lot of pro-ape PR from the science community. These evil simians are manipulating the system to gain our trust. And as soon as they do…WATCH OUT!

From The Telegraph:

Animals can be altruistic, according to a study that has found monkeys enjoy giving.

The researchers discovered that capuchin monkeys – like humans – find generosity a satisfying experience. They offered the monkeys a choice of selfishly rewarding themselves with food, or giving some to another capuchin as well.

When paired with a monkey they knew, the capuchins were more likely to choose the “pro-social” sharing option, but were more selfish when paired with a stranger.

The researchers believe the pleasure of seeing a fellow creature happy is behind the drive for sharing, which is common to primate species.

Frans de Waal of the Yerkes National Primate Research Centre at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia, said: “The fact the capuchins predominantly selected the pro-social option must mean seeing another monkey receive food is satisfying or rewarding for them.

“We believe pro-social behavior is empathy-based. Empathy increases in both humans and animals with social closeness, and in our study, closer partners made more pro-social choices. They seem to care for the welfare of those they know.”

It follows a recent study that showed increased activity in reward centers of the brain after humans gave to charity. (more…)

Seems like Tokyo (Occupied Territory) has a bit of a commuter issue when it comes to Punkeys. We’ll let CNN.com explain:

A monkey stopped morning commuters in their tracks at one of Tokyo’s busiest subway stations this week, as it curiously peered down at them from its perch atop the departures and arrivals board.

Monday marked the third time a monkey has been spotted in the capital this month — surprising, because the beasts usually live in the mountains and hills outside Tokyo, more than a two-hour train ride away from the city center.

Surprised commuters snapped cell phone pictures of the simian, while about 30 police officers scrambled to rope off the area.

They held up green nets and tarps, trying to coax the animal down from the overheard electronic board.

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Here is a disturbing video: Chimps on skates. This is how the Canadians plan to invade too. They’re sharpening their skates now to come down across our borders and steal our cheese!

Punkeys are always looking for credibility. They usually convince myopic scientist into suggesting everything started with monkeys. Even our victory dances. From The Los Angeles Times:

Chimps do it. Gorillas do it. Michael Phelps does it too.


The exuberant dance of victory — arms thrust toward the sky and chest puffed out at a defeated opponent — turns out to be an instinctive trait of all primates — humans included, according to research released Monday.

Scientists from the University of British Columbia and San Francisco State University looked at thousands of photographs of judo matches taken during the 2004 Summer Olympics and Paralympic Games in Athens, for such classic in-your-face victory moves as clenched fists, thrown-back heads and outstretched arms.

The images of the 140 blind and sighted athletes from 37 countries revealed that Paralympic athletes blind from birth struck the same triumphant stance as sighted Olympic athletes. Since the blind athletes could not have learned the victory dance by watching others, the scientists concluded that the behavior was innate. (more…)

The Punkeys have infiltrated a cultural icon to get better results. Marvel Comics has decided to adapt their superheroes into supermonkeys!! When will their attacks stop?? From Entertainment Weekly:

King Kong. Curious George. Clint Eastwood’s buddy in Every Which Way but Loose. All pioneering simians, all troublemakers. Come Sept. 3, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Daredevil, and their compadres will join these ranks when Marvel Comics, in a bid to duplicate the success of the Marvel Zombies franchise, re-envisions its marquee superhumans as…apes. Creepy apes.

It begins when Marty ”The Gibbon” Blank, a mutant chump with chimp-like powers, is ensnared in a science experiment gone wrong. He’s jettisoned into a sinister alternate reality devoid of humans; here, all of our crime-fighters are now hirsute anthropoids. Joined by the fetching human scientist Dr. Fiona Fitzhugh, this wannabe villain (the Gibbon founded the Spider-Man hating/baiting Legion of Losers) is, in fact, recruited by the seemingly upright Ape-Vengers as he searches for a way back home.

As writer Karl Kesel (Fantastic Four) said in an interview at New York Comic Con earlier this year, this is ”a sprawling epic like Lord of the Rings, and the Gibbon is our Frodo — one small person dwarfed by the overwhelming forces….” But who are we kidding? At heart, Marvel Apes — with illustrations by Ramon Bachs (World War Hulk: Frontline) — is a four-issue miniseries about spandex-clad paladins acting uncivilized because they’re apes.


Apparently, the punkey breeding program is working. A whole slew of gorillas were found, nearly doubling the population by some estimates. It’s only a matter of time until they have another generation that will double and double and double some more! From New Scientist:

The discovery of a previously unknown gorilla population in the vast forests of northern Congo brings the total number of animals to a mammoth 125,000 – double that of previous estimates – and should make even the most pessimistic conservation biologist smile.

Hey mom! We’re taking over the world!!

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