Biological Weapons


More biological weapons testing on the punkey front. From the London Paper:

ZOO managers have taken Brussels sprouts off the Christmas menu after the vegetable caused an attack of flatulence in their gorillas.

The staff at Chessington Zoo fed the giant apes on the seasonal favourite as they are filled with nutritional goodness. However, they hadn’t reckoned with the gassy qualities of the tiny veggies.

Now the zoo has issued an apology after guests at the zoo expressed their horror at the potent smell that started emanating from the gorillas’ enclosure.

Gorilla keeper Michael Rozzi said: “We feed the gorillas brussel sprouts during the winter because they are packed with vitamin C and have great nutritional benefits.

“Unfortunately, an embarrassing side effect is that it can cause bouts of flatulence in humans and animals alike.

“However, I don’t think any of us were prepared for a smell that strong.”

As if the gorilla house didn’t smell bad enough. We always knew Brussels sprouts were evil, now there is proof!!!

The Punkeys are getting smarter and now they’re more virally resistant!! From EurkeAlert!:

UCL (University College London) scientists have taken a significant step in understanding how retroviruses such as HIV can move between species and the biological mechanisms behind the ‘jumping genes’ which make some monkeys immune. They will now use this knowledge to develop a gene therapy treatment for HIV/AIDS in humans.

The international team of researchers, coordinated by Professor Greg Towers, UCL Infection and Immunity, and funded by the Wellcome Trust, have identified a combination of genes in a species of monkey that protects against retroviruses – a particularly opportunistic family of viruses that can integrate into the host’s genome and replicate as part of the cell’s DNA. The team’s findings are published today in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS).

Professor Towers explained: “HIV causes AIDS and affects around 40 million people worldwide. Research has shown that HIV entered the human population from a chimpanzee retrovirus called SIV early in the 20th century. In order for a virus to successfully cross the species barrier and jump into a new species, it first has to bypass the new host’s innate immune system, mediated by a combination of genes and proteins. One such gene, called TRIM5, has been shown to protect certain species from retroviruses – but unfortunately the human TRIM5 gene does not protect against HIV infection.” (more…)

We have obtained evidence that the monkeys are developing biological weapons:

Call this: Weapons of Ass Destruction or Asses of Evil, your choice