court


No, the headline doesn’t refer to the Harry Anderson Sitcom of the 80’s (as seen recently on 30 Rock). It has to do with punkeys! They’re disrupting the judicial system!! From the Times of India:

The threat of marauding monkeys in Delhi has forced the authorities to avoid holding evening courts at Tis Hazari (Occupied Territory).

According to court officials, the authorities had selected Tis Hazari court as one of the sites for holding evening courts in the capital.

“The proposal was turned down as several cases of monkey menace have been reported from the premises and the animals might create problems in working of the evening courts,” said an official.

After final discussions, the Patiala House court and Karkardooma court were finally selected for holding evening courts, the official said.

“The monkey menace is not new in the Tis Hazari court premises and several orders have been issued to the Municipal Corporation of Delhi to check it,” he added.

Chief Justice of India K.G. Balakrishnan Wednesday inaugurated the evening courts. These courts will function for two hours from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. daily and initially take up cases of dishonored checks of up to Rs.25,000 where the complainant is a financial institution.

Evening courts were first mooted in the 125th report of the Law Commission and again recommended during the Conference of Chief Justices held in April 2007 as one of the means to deal with pending cases.

They are trying to take down society in small increments. It looks like nothing now…but chaos is coming. Without justice, we are no better than they are. And they know it!

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This poor disillusioned monkey owner is going to jail for his pet marmoset. Is this heroic or part of the monkeys menace plan to place as many people in prison, out of the way, for their attack? You decide. From CityNews:

Never get in the way of a man and his monkey. That seems to be the lesson one man was trying to teach the justice system in the U.S.

But despite his best efforts, it didn’t quite work.

When David Grigorian, a 43-year-old resident from Van Nuys, California, got a marmoset monkey as a pet a few years back, he quickly fell in love with the creature. But he didn’t have a permit for the exotic animal and a court ordered him to get rid of it.

The controversy began last January when cops investigated Grigorian on an unrelated matter. After arriving at his home, they found the animal but not the permits he needed to keep it. He was ordered to get rid of it and promised he would.

A face only a punkey could love!
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More monkey mischief in New Delhi (Occupied Territory). This time turning off the power after a theft. From Thaindian:

The Indian capital, New Delhi, is famous worldwide for its monkey menace, especially during the summer months.

People living in Delhi have grappled with the monkey menace for many years now, and over the past decade, things have gone from bad to worse.

Tuesday was no different. Most parts of Central Delhi, and especially the up-market business district of Connaught Place and neighboring Janpath, had no power for several hours, becoming victims of the monkey menace.

Hungry monkeys attacked a `Chole Batura vendor, took away his items and climbed onto high-tension cables providing power to the area. One of the monkeys fell onto the main power transformer in the Janpath area, which caused a short circuit, and led to a blackout. (more…)

Here is a story about the perfect storm of stupidity. From the Kansas City Star:

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

That sentence never starts a happy story.

Take a gaggle of 10- and 11-year-olds at a birthday party, throw in a couple of rented monkeys and just sit back and let the camcorders roll.

That may be the stupidest idea ever! For the first time, I may feel bad for the monkey in this situation. Imagine Chuck E. Cheese on crack with the faint smell of poo.

“The monkeys hopped from shoulder to shoulder and from person to person,” said Susan Vanlandingham of Leawood, who was throwing the birthday bash for her son, Ben. “It seemed like a free-for-all. … We thought, ‘This is great.’ ”

But when one of the monkeys, a little Capuchin named Wyatt, jumped on a child grabbing for Cheetos, it kicked off a litigation battle that still isn’t resolved five years later. Even today, there is disagreement over whether Wyatt bit the child twice or just scratched him.

It is widely known that you never, ever get between a monkey and a cheeto. Lives have been lost for less.

Some good news for us here at punkeys.com. Monkeys and apes can’t sue!! That means we can feel free to write about the true “pro-primate agenda” without worrying about being taken to court. A loyal reader submitted this from the Houston Chronicle:

A Texas appeals court has affirmed a lower court decision that nine chimpanzees and monkeys that were brought to the Primarily Primates sanctuary in 2006 don’t have a legal right to sue.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals had sought to gain legal standing for the primates transferred from Ohio State University to the sanctuary after they were retired. PETA alleged that the sanctuary conditions were substandard and that it would be best for the seven chimps and two monkeys to be moved to another sanctuary.

The animals were later moved to the Chimp Haven sanctuary in Louisiana after the Texas attorney general placed Primarily Primates in receivership for six months. Primarily Primates, which has since restructured its board, is suing to have the animals returned.

The 4th Court of Appeals on Wednesday affirmed the lower court decision dismissing the case in September 2006.

PETA said it was considering whether to appeal.

You can plainly see their lawyer wasn’t very happy about this.