Will someone stop worshipping these evil over throwers!! Look at this from TIME:

Every year, all of the province’s approximately 600 monkeys are invited to eat fruits and vegetables during an annual feast held in honor of Rama, a hero of the Ramayana, who, it is said, rewarded his friend and ally, Hanuman the Monkey King, with the fiefdom of what is now Lopburi.

If we lose our battle to the monkeys…you now know why.


As this picture reveals, punkeys have been trying to enter human society for a least 100 years. From shorpy.com:

1909. Consul Peter smoking. Peter, famous monkey of the Parisian music halls, was an act at Oscar Hammersteins Paradise Roof Garden in New York. As the subject of Consul Crosses the Atlantic, he was also perhaps the first chimp movie star. George Grantham Bain Collection glass negative.

1909. "Consul Peter smoking." Peter, "famous monkey of the Parisian music halls," was an act at Oscar Hammerstein's Paradise Roof Garden in New York. As the subject of "Consul Crosses the Atlantic," he was also perhaps the first chimp movie star. George Grantham Bain Collection glass negative.

Video evidence that Punkeys are mobilizing and preparing for a ground assault. Here is the recon video:

And segways are not easy to ride as this picture of the president shows:

Conclusion: Punkeys may be smart enough to become president!!!

Space Chimps opens in theaters today and we wanted to send out a warning. This piece of propaganda is just the latest in the Punkeys plan to get into our children’s feeble little brains and take over the world. Wouldn’t it be easier if the kids who go see this tripe want monkeys to be trained by NASA? To be accepting of monkeys and allow our enemies to easily take over without even a fight?

I say, boycott Space Chimps! Don’t let this be the first step of humankind’s demise.

Looks like the monkeys at the Little Rock Zoo are running a chop shop. From WXVT:

It’s best to not drop a cell phone into the ape enclosures at the Little Rock Zoo. But if it happens, the folks in charge better be ready with a reward.

Ape keepers say the orangutans and chimpanzees know they can get treats if they give back valuable items.

Dominant orangutan Roc (Rock) drives the hardest bargains, and he has little patience for dickering. Keepers say he will dismantle a cell phone and give it back a piece at a time — each part for a piece of candy or a soda. Once, a keeper couldn’t break a frozen candy bar in time and Rok bit into the phone, destroying it with a great crunch.

Keepers say there are plenty of reasons to not drop or throw items into animal enclosures. One particular vulnerability with the apes is germs — they can catch human diseases that can be spread via the foreign objects.

First it’s cell phones, next SUV heading to Mexico. The punkey crime wave is slowly gaining strength.

Normally we don’t condone punkey violence here. But we need some tough fighting punkeys now! Why?

We’re in the finals! Please…Please…PLEASE! Go vote for punkeys at the International Blog Cup 

Thank you for your support!

Here’s a disturbing trend that sends out a red flag immediately. A woman in Florida is raising a monkey as her child. Is this their cunning plan to take over the world? From the Orlando Sentinel:

Lori Johnson was lonely and depressed after her youngest son left home in 1992. She yearned for another child to love. So Johnson bought a baby monkey.

“She was a little, bitty, teeny thing staring up at me,” said Johnson, 58, who lives in Deltona with her husband and Jessica Marie, a 5-pound capuchin she calls her daughter. “She was enough to steal anyone’s heart, she was.”

Like Johnson, there is a growing group of monkey lovers who pay big bucks to diaper and dote on their primates. Some even raise them as surrogate children.

Many self-described “monkey people” don’t dare call them pets. They are playfully referred to as “monkids” and reared in a world of pierced ears, monogrammed clothes, a seat at the dinner table and their own bedrooms.

At Gemini Springs in DeBary recently, Johnson pushed “Jessy” around in a toy-filled red stroller, a sight that drew attention. “Hey, it’s a real monkey,” hollered one youngster, who did a double take.

Johnson replied with a grin: “That’s not a monkey; that’s my kid.” (more…)

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