gorilla


More biological weapons testing on the punkey front. From the London Paper:

ZOO managers have taken Brussels sprouts off the Christmas menu after the vegetable caused an attack of flatulence in their gorillas.

The staff at Chessington Zoo fed the giant apes on the seasonal favourite as they are filled with nutritional goodness. However, they hadn’t reckoned with the gassy qualities of the tiny veggies.

Now the zoo has issued an apology after guests at the zoo expressed their horror at the potent smell that started emanating from the gorillas’ enclosure.

Gorilla keeper Michael Rozzi said: “We feed the gorillas brussel sprouts during the winter because they are packed with vitamin C and have great nutritional benefits.

“Unfortunately, an embarrassing side effect is that it can cause bouts of flatulence in humans and animals alike.

“However, I don’t think any of us were prepared for a smell that strong.”

As if the gorilla house didn’t smell bad enough. We always knew Brussels sprouts were evil, now there is proof!!!

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We’re already sliding down the evolutionary scale when a gorilla gets better than dental care than we do. Add in the irony that is dental care in England and it’s down right depressing! From The Telegraph:

This 28 st primate had to be sedated for two hours by specialist vet dentists during a successful operation to remove a painful three inch root.

Pertinax, a silverback Western gorilla, was said to be “understandably groggy” after the operation at Paignton Zoo in Devon.

He was treated by Dr Peter Kertesz, one of only a few specialist zoo dentists in the world, who has worked on exotic species including whales, pandas and elephants.

He said: “Animals or people, it’s all the same – they need treatment, they get treatment. The scale is what varies – and the location. It is all about teamwork.

“It is a very serious business. The health and sometimes the life of a rare creature is in your hands.”

Neil Bemment, curator of mammals at the zoo, added: “Pertinax had a broken canine. Peter had to remove the root, which was a good three inches long.”

Pertinax is the 25-year-old leader of the zoo’s bachelor group of gorillas and was treated at the attraction.

Dr Kertesz has a dental practice in London and his first experience of animal dentistry was when he looked at a cat for a vet in 1978.

Punkeys are always looking for credibility. They usually convince myopic scientist into suggesting everything started with monkeys. Even our victory dances. From The Los Angeles Times:

Chimps do it. Gorillas do it. Michael Phelps does it too.


The exuberant dance of victory — arms thrust toward the sky and chest puffed out at a defeated opponent — turns out to be an instinctive trait of all primates — humans included, according to research released Monday.

Scientists from the University of British Columbia and San Francisco State University looked at thousands of photographs of judo matches taken during the 2004 Summer Olympics and Paralympic Games in Athens, for such classic in-your-face victory moves as clenched fists, thrown-back heads and outstretched arms.

The images of the 140 blind and sighted athletes from 37 countries revealed that Paralympic athletes blind from birth struck the same triumphant stance as sighted Olympic athletes. Since the blind athletes could not have learned the victory dance by watching others, the scientists concluded that the behavior was innate. (more…)

The Punkeys have infiltrated a cultural icon to get better results. Marvel Comics has decided to adapt their superheroes into supermonkeys!! When will their attacks stop?? From Entertainment Weekly:

King Kong. Curious George. Clint Eastwood’s buddy in Every Which Way but Loose. All pioneering simians, all troublemakers. Come Sept. 3, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Daredevil, and their compadres will join these ranks when Marvel Comics, in a bid to duplicate the success of the Marvel Zombies franchise, re-envisions its marquee superhumans as…apes. Creepy apes.

It begins when Marty ”The Gibbon” Blank, a mutant chump with chimp-like powers, is ensnared in a science experiment gone wrong. He’s jettisoned into a sinister alternate reality devoid of humans; here, all of our crime-fighters are now hirsute anthropoids. Joined by the fetching human scientist Dr. Fiona Fitzhugh, this wannabe villain (the Gibbon founded the Spider-Man hating/baiting Legion of Losers) is, in fact, recruited by the seemingly upright Ape-Vengers as he searches for a way back home.

As writer Karl Kesel (Fantastic Four) said in an interview at New York Comic Con earlier this year, this is ”a sprawling epic like Lord of the Rings, and the Gibbon is our Frodo — one small person dwarfed by the overwhelming forces….” But who are we kidding? At heart, Marvel Apes — with illustrations by Ramon Bachs (World War Hulk: Frontline) — is a four-issue miniseries about spandex-clad paladins acting uncivilized because they’re apes.


Apparently, the punkey breeding program is working. A whole slew of gorillas were found, nearly doubling the population by some estimates. It’s only a matter of time until they have another generation that will double and double and double some more! From New Scientist:

The discovery of a previously unknown gorilla population in the vast forests of northern Congo brings the total number of animals to a mammoth 125,000 – double that of previous estimates – and should make even the most pessimistic conservation biologist smile.

Hey mom! We’re taking over the world!!

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In one of the biggest victories for the Punkey agenda happened in Spain. From Reuters:

Spain’s parliament voiced its support on Wednesday for the rights of great apes to life and freedom in what will apparently be the first time any national legislature has called for such rights for non-humans.

Parliament’s environmental committee approved resolutions urging Spain to comply with the Great Apes Project, devised by scientists and philosophers who say our closest genetic relatives deserve rights hitherto limited to humans.

“This is a historic day in the struggle for animal rights and in defense of our evolutionary comrades, which will doubtless go down in the history of humanity,” said Pedro Pozas, Spanish director of the Great Apes Project.


Spain may be better known abroad for bull-fighting than animal rights but the new measures are the latest move turning once-conservative Spain into a liberal trailblazer. (more…)

Looks like monkeys are getting smarter by the day. This isn’t a Great Ape we’re talking about, a clever chimp or a genius gorilla. This is a lowly capuchin monkey that’s starting to get smarter. From Science Daily:

From paintings and photographs to coins and credit cards, we are constantly surrounded by symbolic artifacts. The mental representation of symbols — objects that arbitrarily represent other objects — ultimately affords the development of language, and certainly played a decisive role in the evolution of our hominid ancestors. Can other animal species also comprehend and use symbols? Some evidence suggests that apes, our closest relatives, can indeed use symbols in various contexts. However, little is known about the symbolic competence of phylogenetically more distant species.

(more…)

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