Not satisfied with just stealing and sabotage, the punkeys in Mumbai (Occupied Territory) have started a psychological campaign against us too. From the Times of India:

Two monkeys who have made the Bandra skywalk their home have been causing havoc and indulging in inappropriate behaviour. Not only have they nipped at pedestrians and snatched their bags, they have even been seen mating on the skywalk.

There is nothing more psychologically damaging than seeing monkeys mate!

In the last month, at least 30 people have been bitten, one of them a security guard, J R Dubey, who has been posted there by the Mumbai Metropolitan Region Development Authority. The MMRDA has constructed the zigzagging yellow 1.3 km walkway, which became operational two months ago.

Not a single security official can explain where the simians have leapt from. One of them has a iron ring around its neck. Dubey said, “I have seen at least five people being attacked. I’ve been bitten twice. It’s terrifying to work here. In the night, the monkeys sleep behind the hoardings on the Western Express highway, and at other times, when they tired of the skywalk, they hide in the rain trees near Bandra station.”

Poonam Shah, 22, said she and her friends were happily strolling down the skywalk when a monkey bit her and snatched a cellphone from her friend’s hand. “I had to take five injections to avoid rabies. It’s really scary to walk here, but I do not have any other option,” she said.

While this correspondent was trying to get a picture of the monkeys, one of them obliged by snatching at the bag of an elderly woman, only to drop it after discovering that it contained fish.

Okay, you can’t blame them for dropping the bag if it’s full of fish. At least they have some taste.

TOI phoned MMRDA bosses Ratnakar Gaikwad, Milind Mhaiskar and Ashwini Bhide and told them about the untoward activity on their otherwise pedestrian-friendly bridge. Spokesperson Dilip Kawathkar said he would ask the security officers to do the needful. Range forest officer Rajendra Magdum, whose job profile includes tackling stray monkeys, said, “I will deploy two men on Saturday to trap them.”

MMRDA guards plan to light firecrackers to scare the duo away, but this will not be a permanent solution. Environmentalist Debi Goenka said the MMRDA should ask the forest department to help capture and translocate them in a forest outside Mumbai. Sanctuary Magazine editor Bittu Sehgal said, “They should be captured. In all probability, they are hungry and must have escaped from a madariwalla.”


Think bobono monkeys are the “Hippies” of the ape world, with their always having hot monkey sex and peace loving ways? Think again. From The New Scientist:

Don’t be fooled by their reputation for altruism and free love – bonobos hunt and kill monkeys just like their more vicious chimpanzees cousins, according to new research.

“Bonobos are merciless,” says Gottfried Hohmann, a behavioural ecologist at Max-Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany. He witnessed several monkey hunts among bonobos living in the Democratic Republic of Congo, and says, “they catch it and start eating it. They don’t bother to kill it”.

Yet unlike chimps, bonobos live in female-centred societies where sex, not aggression, settles differences and enforces social order.

Fruit makes up much of their diet, but the primates aren’t herbivores. Small ungulates called forest antelopes, or duikers, often fall prey to the apes.

These hunts tend to be fairly simple, with a single bonobo cornering a duiker then quickly feasting on the still-living animal as more apes hurried to the scene. Hohmann says he has witnessed a duiker “still vocally blurting as the bonobos opened the stomach and intestines.”

In three successful monkey hunts that Hohmann and Max Planck colleague Martin Surbeck witnessed in the Salonga National Park, bonobos took a more cautious team approach once they spotted monkeys in a nearby tree.

“They fall silent, and they try to go underneath the monkey group, of course remaining undetected,” he says. “Then it’s a sudden rush. Two, three, four bonobos climb up into the trees and try to catch a monkey.” The researchers saw the bonobos successfully nab a redtail monkey and and two Wolf’s guenons.

Males and females hunt together, and females tended to share their spoils, which included the young of two species of monkeys.

The discovery casts doubt on claims that social aggression and hunting go hand in hand, Hohmann says. Some anthropologists suggest that in the million or so years that separate bonobos from chimps, bonobos lost their appetite for violence.

“What a great discovery,” says Frans de Waal, a primatologist at Emory University in Atlanta.

“The chimpanzee literature sometimes depicts bonobos as the less interesting, less human-like, less cultured, less cooperative branch of the family tree,” he says, “and I am not sure this characterisation can be maintained for much longer with this kind of observation coming out.”

However, de Waal notes that predation and aggression are distinct behaviours, pointing out aggressive herbivores such as bison and sociable carnivores such as lionesses as examples. “For me, this finding does very little to change the idea of bonobos as relatively peaceful primates.”

If that’s what they do to their own…what will they do to us?

What do you call a female that screams for the men, only to keep quiet from the other women so she can have all the men to herself? Normally the word “whore” would spring to mind. Well, that’s exactly what female chimps do in the wild. And depending on the male, she’ll go wild for high ranking males while barely making a peep for lowly joe shmoes. From Science News:

When a chimp has sex in the forest, will she make a sound?

Depends in part on who’s listening, literally, says a scientist who has spent months recording chimp sex sounds in the wild.

With lots of other females within earshot, a female chimp typically doesn’t give a call, says Simon Townsend of the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. With a largely male audience, though, she’s more likely to give what primatologists call copulation squeaks or screams.

And partners matter. Even if she is not fertile, she’s more likely to vocalize when she’s with a high-ranking male than with some low ranker. The benefit of this strategy could be that she avoids attacks from other females while confusing males about who’s going to be the dad, Townsend and his colleagues propose in the June PLoS ONE.


We’ve seen some pretty blatant propaganda before but now the Punkeys are using this love story to woo over the human race. From The Times of India:

A male hoolock gibbon wandered from the wild into a national park in Assam in search of a mate – and has now returned with her to his natural habitat.

The first recorded case of a wild gibbon falling in love with a captive mate at the Kaziranga reserve has delighted wildlife experts.

Conservationists bade farewell in late May to the lone female gibbon they hand-raised at the Centre for Wildlife Rehabilitation and Conservation (CWRC) next to the Panbari forest in Kaziranga.

Now Siloni, who is the first gibbon to be rehabilitated in India, has joined her partner in the wild to start a family.

Hoolock gibbons are the species of the ape family found in India and are critically endangered, with only an estimated 4,500-5,000 left in the forests of Assam where they live. Gibbons are protected by Schedule I of the Wildlife (Protection) Act, the highest measure for protection of wildlife in the country.

“Siloni first met her partner, a good-looking male gibbon, after he sneaked into the centre to meet her,” says wildlife veterinarian Anjan Talukdar, who had been her surrogate parent.

The romance started some four months ago. (more…)

How desperate do you have to be to sleep with a chimp? Well…apparently as desperate as a sex deprived scientist. From Life News:

A leading scientist says the Human Fertilization and Embryology Bill the British parliament is considering is so grisly that it would allow scientists to mate humans and chimps. Dr. Calum MacKellar says he’s worried the bill, which promotes human cloning, would allow interspecies mating.

MacKellar, director of research at the Scottish Council on Human Bioethics, says he worries the bill would open the door for the “humanzee,” created by breeding apes and humans.

He told the Scotsman newspaper that he thinks a new species could theoretically be born if the bill allows the grisly science to move forward.

They like to use the word “grisly” a lot. Will humans and bears be the next hybrid?

“The Human Fertilization and Embryo Bill prohibits the placement of animal sperm into a woman. The reverse is not prohibited. It’s not even mentioned. This should not be the case,” he explained.

If the process isn’t banned, he worried scientists are likely to try it.

While mating humans and other species wouldn’t be successful, MacKellar told the newspaper he thinks it would work with apes since their DNA most closely resembles that of human beings.

“If you put human sperm into a frog it would probably create an embryo, but it probably wouldn’t go very far,” he said. “But if you do it with a non-human primate it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that it could be born alive.”

He said the result of the crazy experiments could be a debate about whether the “humanzee” had legal rights and whether the new species should be exploited for its organs for patients.

American bioethicist Wesley Smith says, “Of course they should outlaw putting human sperm into animal eggs.”

And he worries what would happen if that wasn’t prohibited in the UK as evidenced by MacKellar’s concern that “mad scientists” exist within the field.

“And therein lies the rub: If he is right–and I have my doubts–but, if it is true, then it means that a significant percentage of life scientists accept no reasonable limits on their experimentation, which will eventually require society to force them to cease and desist,” he explained.

“And then we will hear the squawking from the Science Establishment about how the great unwashed are restricting freedom of inquiry,” Smith concluded.

Looks like the Island of Dr. Moreau…is England!!


More disturbing facts about the Punkeys. Not only are they criminals, out to destroy humanity, but they’re righteous pervs too!

From New Scientist:

There’s something kinky going on in the world of Barbary macaques. Researchers have found the males eavesdrop on their mates having sex in order to make sure they don’t miss out on the fun – and to give their sperm a chance to compete in the great fertilization race.

Female Barbary macaques (Macaca sylvanus) cry out during sex. When they are fertile, the call stimulates ejaculation in the male. When the females are infertile, they slightly modify the structure of the call, making the male less likely to ejaculate. Fertile females sometimes make non-ejaculatory calls as well.

Dana Pfefferle of the German Primate Center in Göttingen and her colleagues recorded ejaculatory and non-ejaculatory calls produced by both fertile and infertile females in “La Forêt des Singes”, a primate visiting centre in France where Barbary macaques roam freely.

We’ve already touched upon how bad this job was before. Perhaps “touched” is a bad word to use in this instance. Sorry!

They then hid a speaker in the park foliage, not far from a resting male, and played the recorded cries.

Males showed strong responses to ejaculatory calls. They turned around and looked in the direction from which the call came for roughly twice as long, and in some cases rose and approached the microphone.

Pfefferle made sure the recorded female was never around during the playback experiments, so the other males could not find her. Upon hearing the ejaculatory calls, males did however approach other females and checked their genitals for the swelling that indicates they are fertile.

Let’s be honest…who hasn’t checked for swollen genitals before? Isn’t this standard practice in dance clubs now? (more…)

As I’ve always stated, Punkeys have a keen knack of deception and trickery. This excerpt on an article at backs me up:

“Some of the primates like to tease other individuals and make fun of them,” he told me. “Possibly they’re the only animals that do this – poke fun at others just for the fun of it. Young animals do it to adults. It’s not really deceptive. It’s more like teasing behavior.”

Chimps and other apes also seem to be adept at deceiving each other for societal advantage, Maestripieri said.

“The deception, when it’s intentional, is something that comes with other complex cognitive skills. It’s what people call ‘theory of mind,'” he said. “To be able to deceive someone else implies the ability to know that they think, they believe. That’s something that only the higher primates have.”


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