weapons


More biological weapons testing on the punkey front. From the London Paper:

ZOO managers have taken Brussels sprouts off the Christmas menu after the vegetable caused an attack of flatulence in their gorillas.

The staff at Chessington Zoo fed the giant apes on the seasonal favourite as they are filled with nutritional goodness. However, they hadn’t reckoned with the gassy qualities of the tiny veggies.

Now the zoo has issued an apology after guests at the zoo expressed their horror at the potent smell that started emanating from the gorillas’ enclosure.

Gorilla keeper Michael Rozzi said: “We feed the gorillas brussel sprouts during the winter because they are packed with vitamin C and have great nutritional benefits.

“Unfortunately, an embarrassing side effect is that it can cause bouts of flatulence in humans and animals alike.

“However, I don’t think any of us were prepared for a smell that strong.”

As if the gorilla house didn’t smell bad enough. We always knew Brussels sprouts were evil, now there is proof!!!

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Nothing says it more than this picture:

Probably the most disturbing story we’ve posted in a long time. From The Daily Mail:

A male orangutan, clinging precariously to overhanging branches, flails the water with a pole, trying desperately to spear a passing fish.

It is the first time one has been seen using a tool to hunt.

The extraordinary image, a world exclusive, was taken in Borneo on the island of Kaja, where apes are rehabilitated into the wild after being rescued from zoos, private homes or even butchers’ shops.


Monkeying around: An orangutan clings precariously to overhanging branches in a desperate bid to spear a passing fish

“Orang hutan” means “forest man” in one of Indonesia’s many languages and our long-armed cousins do indeed show a remarkable ability to mimic our behavior.

This individual had seen locals fishing with spears on the Gohong River.

Although the method required too much skill for him to master, he was later able to improvise by using the pole to catch fish already trapped in the locals’ fishing lines.

The image is part of a series taken for a new book, The Thinkers of the Jungle, which also includes the first photograph of an orangutan swimming.

Look. This is the only the beginning. First spears. Then slingshots…what’s next? A thermonuclear device? Or more appropriately, a “dirty bomb”?

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

More mounting evidence that the Punkeys are getting more aggressive. From NPR:

A peculiar band of chimpanzees lives amid the grasslands of Senegal in western Africa.

While most chimps live in the canopies of tropical forests, these primates live mostly on the open ground of the savannah. And they have adopted highly evolved survival strategies — such as hunting with weapons.

Photographer Frans Lanting traveled to an area of Senegal known as Fongoli last summer to record the chimps for National Geographic. He teamed up with anthropologist Jill Pruetz, who has spent six years in the region studying the animals. Each morning, they would get up before dawn and follow the chimps as they foraged — sometimes traveling as much as 15 miles.


“They don’t look different from other chimpanzees,” Lanting tells NPR’s Alex Chadwick. “It’s more that they live in a very different environment.” (more…)

Apparently, punkeys have been arming themselves for quite a long time as this painting shows:

monkey-sword-fight.jpg

Gainomax is subtly showing the powers Punkeys have. As Punkeys attempt to take over the world, they have several weapons at their disposal.

They have hypnosis:

The powers of the undead:

and, of course, their sheer cuteness:

But don’t think this is some clever ad campaign, this is a display of their powers and someday, they will unleash them upon us and enslave us all.

Finally, capitalism is trying to curb the Punkey crime rate. Someone finally came along and invented “the Baboon Watch“. From Kormorant:

The ‘Baboon watch,’ a new device recently developed by South African inventor Doug Reid may solve many residents’ headaches caused by monkeys.

monkey_watch.jpg

“The device is a must for all homeowners who live in areas where baboons and monkeys abound and often cause chaos, even threatening injury to humans and pets, as well as damage to property. This weatherproof, CCTV camera-shaped unit emits a harmless, but high frequency sound which humanely deters both baboons and monkeys,” says Heather Hiscox, sole member of DAZER.

The ‘Baboon watch’ is, according to Hiscox a blessing too for farmers who will now not have to resort to desperate and often cruel measures in order to protect their crops.

The device can be permanently mounted outdoors and is a variable frequency audio generator that emits a high pitched sound that is uncomfortable for baboons and monkeys and deters them from the area. (more…)

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